Confession: Hello Darkness, my old friend

In so many ways, this feels like a 'coming out' post. No - I'm not gay. But I'm coming out as plus-size. Stupid, I know, but for the longest time I was in denial. I knew what size I was, but I couldn't say the words out loud. I never mentioned the dreaded 'p' word to my friends. To anyone.

 I was ashamed.

 Of my size. Of my body. Of my clothes.  

 I was different. 

 It wasn't too long ago that I would never even dream of sharing photos of my body, clothes and wardrobe with the world. I wanted to, but I was shy. Too scared to take the risk and too damn proud to admit that I couldn't shop at Witchery or Shieke like (what felt like) everybody else. 

 I can't pin-point the exact moment that it changed and I no longer cared about being plus size and truthfully, I doubt there was one. It happened slowly, gradually, I didn't even realise it had happened. I think it came from getting older but maybe it just came from being tired of pretending to be something I'm not. Something I may never be.  

 I've always been overweight. In high school I hung out with the so-called popular kids. I was the chubby-but-funny girl. I hovered between a size 12 -16 throughout school. I could still fit into the same clothes as my friends, although they looked slightly different on my rounder body than on their frames, but I could camouflage a little better. I was happy at school. Insecure, but comfortable. Popular, even - I was voted School Prefect in Year 12. 

 It was after school that things changed. I deferred Uni for a gap-year working at a local newspaper. I went from spending the day trekking around the school yard to sitting at a desk for 9 hours straight. I went from not eating lunch (I never ate at school) to long lunches at the local pub or cafe. The shock of being out of my normal, comfortable, safe school environment combined with the weight gain sent me into a horrible depression. There were other factors and incidents of course, but the depression was all-consuming. I was suddenly more aware of my weight than ever before. I didn't fit into my old clothes. I didn't know where to buy new ones. I didn't want to. I had gained weight but I had lost so much of myself and self-worth. 

 Hindsight is a funny thing. I look back and I can remember the depression so clearly but I can't remember when it started to lift. I know that the darkness felt like it would never go away, and in so many ways it's never really left me. The darkness has become a part of me, an old friend that occasionally comes over unexpectedly for a cup of tea and a chat. I don't know if I'll ever be able to completely cut-ties with her, but I do know now how to get her to leave. Spend a lot of time with friends. A lot of time alone. And sometimes, just a whole lot of wine. 

 When I clawed my way out of the darkness for the first time all those years ago and started to see the world again, she looked different, a little brighter and a little bit sadder than before. Bits of the old me did come back but somehow I've morphed into a different person yet again. Lola. Lola is the best and the worst of me. She can be the life of the party or the ghost in the corner. She can be a confident chatterbox or an anxious looker-on - sometimes both at the same time. She drives me crazy. She can be such a bad girl. 

 I love her, this new-version of me. 



















Lola + Co (clockwise L-R): Half-Cup, Big, Lola, Mayo and C-Bear at Bone's Wedding. 

Terrible Tuesdays

This is my Tuesday face. Freckles, wrinkles and all. 

Tuesday's are such a blah day, right? I mean, I've never met a Monday I actually liked and Wednesday is 'hump day' and Thursday is just a hop, skip and a jump away from Friday. Tuesday's are kind of like that cousin you sorta-didn't-really-like but your parents made you play with them anyway. 

When I come home on a Tuesday, I want peace, I want quiet and I want a book. A cup of tea wouldn't go astray either but we can't all have everything. It's to my eternal annoyance that I have a standing dinner-date each and every Tuesday night. People want to spend time with me - say what now?! 

Anyway, I thought I would share with you my outfit from this evening. I rushed home from work and put together the quickest, most comfortable outfit I could possibly find.

Et Vola - Terrible Tuesday Outfit ala Lola 

The skirt is a $20 bargain from Target and the top is actually a Peter Alexander PJ top that's so damn comfortable I often wear it out. The shrug is an old Paper Heart one that I purchased a bazillion years ago and still wear to death. It's actually a size 10 but it's so oversized it fits me perfectly. I added some Samantha Wills boho earrings to brighten the whole thing up - a pop of silver and turquoise makes the outfit a little bit less monochrome. 

Until next time, lovers. 

Lola Lust-Haves - Sports Luxe



I've been watching the trend of 'sports luxe' grow and evolve and I must say that I'm currently loving the absolute shit out of it. It seems like everywhere I go, someone is rocking a fierce SL combo and I come down with a severe case of outfit-envy. Think cute sports-insipired tee-dresses, leather running shorts, bomber jackets, leather baseball caps and luxe sneaker-wedges (ala Jeremy Scott)  Swooooooon. 

 There's quite a few options out there for plus-size girls at the moment so I thought I'd share with you a few of my faves (aka my lust-haves) 
I heart this dress from Asos Curve. It's perfectly simple but when paired with the right accessories (leather baseball cap & sneaker wedges, anyone? ) it has the potential to make a super cute sports luxe outfit. 













This hoddie is adorable x 1,000. The sheer sleeves = swooooon. Pair with a cute pair of leather shorts or leggings, high-top sneakers and hoop earrings and you have yourself some sporty-luxe goodness right there. 








 I love the shit out of this dress. That is all. 
Another Asos Curve goodie. Seriously, Asos has so many goodies right now I can't even deal with logging on to their store. I like this dress for a slightly more glam night-time sporty feel. The different coloured sleeves give it a baseball/jersey edge but the snug fit of the dress makes me want to take it out and dance alllll night long. I'd pull my hair back into a sleek high pony-tail, swish some bronzer on my cheeks, grab my super-cute leather back-pack and take this little beauty out on the town. 





 This 17 Sundays embelished sweat top is to. die. for. The studs give it a nice edge and is perfect to give your wardrobe a little sports luxe addition. I quite like how it's styled in this photo but it would work with a tighter bandage skirt or some leather leggings as well. Love the hoop earrings too. 
 This 17 Sundays basic body-con dress is a wardrobe must-have. Perfect for those Sunday morning brunches and lunches, this little number just needs a few teeny tiny accessories that we all have lying around to give it a sports luxe vibe. Find your cutest (and whitest, if possible) sneakers, your old hoop earrings, a cute sports watch and a high-pony and your good to go. If you're feeling adventurous, add this cap from Sportsgirl and you'll be lookin' mightly fine. Please send me photos so I can gawk at your sweet style whilst trying not to have that aforementioned outfit-envny.

 This 17 Sundays bomber jacket really puts the "bomb" into bomber. And it's on sale. Run, don't walk to their website. Now. What are you waiting for? Seriously. Go.
















I could go on (and on and on) about all the options out there right now but instead I'm going to encourage you to explore for yourself. Forever 21 + have some fantastic skater skirts, leggings, bodysuits and tee's which are on trend AND adorable. Asos Curve also have about 4739 other options and Sportsgirl is pratically overflowing with THE perfect accessories so check them out if you're feeling like dipping your toes in the sports-luxe trend. Come on in, the water is fine! 

Monday Madness - Featuring Estelle + City Chic

Mondays suck. There, I said it. As far as days go, Mondays are undoubtedly the actual worst. I work for a newspaper and Mondays are also our big deadline day (aka the busiest day of the week) so it's a double whammy of crapiness when my alarm goes off every Monday morning. 

 My Monday morning outfits are usually a little punchier that the rest of the week - they have a little bit more colour, a little bit more somethin'-somethin' to help me kick Monday in the teeth. Today's outfit was no different. I recently picked up a lovely little bargain from Myer with this gorgeous Estelle dress.  I adore the bright colours and the cut. It was on sale (yay!) but they were out of my size (boo). I liked it so much that I ended up getting the size bigger and I wear a belt with it (coincidently, from a different Estelle dress) to nip it in so it doesn't just hang awkwardly. I love that the sharpness of the leather and the studs on the belt contrasts so perfectly with the floral femininity of the dress and gives it a nice (albeit slight) edge. 

 Given that I AM (sadly) off to work, I paired it with this cute City Chic draped blazer. The sleeves are sheer making it perfect for Summer heat while still protecting me from the overpowered office air-conditioner. The blazer helps to give it more of a work/corporate look while still maintaining the bright/fun-ness of the dress. 

 Because the dress is quite bright and the print quite stark, I kept my accessories to a bare minimum - just a gold bangle and a black & gold ring (both from City Chic) and a swish of red lipstick (Napoleon Perdis Mattetastic in Marlene) and I was out the door ready to brave another stinkin' Monday. 


Hope your day was better than mine, lovers! 



Sunday Funday with 17 Sundays

Dress: 17 Sundays  via The Iconic. Bag and Sunglasses: Sportsgirl. Ring: Samantha Wills. Shoes: The Iconic

Let me preface this post by saying that I am a HUGE fan of 17 Sundays. I discovered their brand just before a quick jaunt to Bali and I purchased quite a bit of stuff from them before my travels (more on that later) and ever since then I've been pretty darn impressed with their clothes. 

I'd had my eye on this Knitted Jacquard dress for quite awhile before I finally purchased it through The Iconic store just after Christmas. The material is a touch too heavy for my liking in the extreme Summer heat we've had lately but I can see it being the perfect trans-season dress and I'm itching for a chance to wear it. When I do, you'll be be the first to see. 

Bachelorette Party Babe'n


2013 for me was the Year of the Hen's Party. 

 Seriously. It was like all my friends got together and decided to get married in '13. I had everything ranging from a traditional Cambodian wedding (6am wakeup for 7am start!) to a magical dream wedding in Bali that can probably never, ever be repeated. It was the best of times and the very best of times. Nobody loves a good wedding more than me. 

 Along with the weddings comes the Hen's Party and for me last year, there were a LOT of them. It felt like every other weekend I was off to another one of these dingin' things. Needless to say, some (all) of those weekends are a tad blurry. I had everything from stripper cruises (Magic Mike eat yo' heart out) to magical nights dancing the night away in the Zita Bar at the Hilton Hotel and getting whisked out of stretch Hummers into VIP sections (!!!) back to private Puppetry of the Penis shows (?!?!?). 

 When all of your drop-dead gorgeous friends (I may be slightly biased) are straight-sized and you are not, it's so damn easy to feel left-out. Oh, how I'd love to spend hours with them trawling through shop after shop for easy, breezy, fun hen's party outfits. Alas, it's not to be but I did manage to find quite a few fun outfits that worked for me and made me feel a billion-trillion dollars on those fun girls-gone-very-very-wild nights out. 




This bold blue peplum dress from City Chic got quite the workout on the Hen's circuit. I wore it on two different occasions in two completely different ways and lah-ved them both. There's something about the cut, fit and shape of this dress that makes me feel young, fun and just a little bit sexy. Winning! 

A non-Hen's Party Outfit. (Yes, that green stuff is absynth. Yes, shit got a little out of hand)

The first Hen's party I wore it too was on a stripper cruise in Sydney Harbour in 40 degree humidity and pouring rain. The theme was "Bling" so I paired it with some sky-high gold glitter heels, huge gold cuff, necklace and earrings. I ditched the black belt it came with and rocked a sweet gold-metal plated belt. The overall effect was exactly what I'd hoped for. I only wish I had thought to take a photo at the time. 

The "Bling" accessories. Big and very, very gold.

The second time I took this lovely dress for a hen's party spin was in September for a fun night out in Sydney for my very best friend's bachelorette ball. She did things a little differently from most brides and shunned the bridesmaid concept but being the bossy, loving friend I am, I self-appoitned myself as her maid-of-honor (or dishonor) and whisked her away before the party to get our makeup did at Napoleon Perdis. Gosh darn I love it when someone else does my makeup for me. I had a really clear vision of how I wanted this look and outfit to come together so I made sure I took along a photo of what I had in mind. I knew I was wearing the blue dress and I wanted to do something completely different to the normal smokey-eye, fake lashes, soft lip look I usually rock for big events. I wanted something FUN, something BRIGHT and that something was this: 
When I showed the lovely girl from Napoleon the photo, she was both surprised and excited. I was nervous about how it would all come together, there was no doubt it looked great on the model but that hardly guaranteed it would transfer to my face. Overall, I was pretty flippin' happy with the results. 

The end result (dress on) looked a lot like this. 
I'd been waiting to try out a flower crown and I knew this was the perfect occasion. I kept the other accessories to a bare minimum (no belt, no earrings, no cuff etc) and because I planned to dance my perfectly-primed face off all night, I wore some pretty beaded sandals. Sure, I looked short and stumpy but damnit, I had flowers in my hair and I did not care. 

Casual Chic


Pants: City Chic. Flower Crown: Sportsgirl. Tee: Target. Sandals: The Iconic. Bag: Sportsgirl. Sunglasses: Sportsgirl. Earrings: Samantha Wills


When you're plus-sized, it's so much harder to put together an outfit that oozes with the very essence of "YOU". Straight-sized girls have a plethora of options, it feels like every other street corner is bursting with boutiques oozing must-have maxi-dresses and chic playsuits. When you're choices are limited, it's hair-tearingly frustrating trying to find something that makes you feel like the very best 'you'. Whether that look is denim cutoffs with a fresh white tee or a form-fitting Herve Leger-esque bandage dress, there's something so satisfying about looking in the mirror and seeing an outfit on the outside that matches the you on the inside. ' 

That's why I freakin' love the shit out of this outfit. Oversized cat-eye sunglasses, check! Samantha Wills boho-luxe bling earrings, check! Comfy casual tee, check! Harem pants that don't make me look like I'm wearing an oversized nappy, check!

I love that I can take this outfit from a fun brunch with my friends to drinks at my favourite wine bar.Happy days!
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